Through The Lens Of My Heart

This morning I sit here at the table and the sun has laid down a million diamonds for me on the water. I feel life breathing back to my spirit.  Slowly.  I had the camera out yesterday and I took the opportunity to photograph my son's orchids which are thriving beautifully in spite of the chill. I love these flowers so much, not only because they're so pretty, but because they mean so much to him and because it is a joyful thing to watch him care for them so faithfully.  I thought of him in the quiet, while I was working. He has always marched to the beat of his own drum and makes no apologies for it.  I love that about him.  When I photograph his orchids, I work really hard to represent that.  To see them differently.. to see everything differently.. the way he does.  I read a quote recently that said... 

The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.

I think he does a really good job of that.

I have been searching a great deal lately. Searching for where to belong, how to belong, to whom I belong, in what work I belong.  But the truth is... I'm pretty weary of that search and kind of feeling like I just want to sit down by that sparkly water again, and belong to myself.  I want to spend more time listening to music and talking to people I love and less time here.. staring at a computer or iPhone screen.  I want to get out there and see the places I love again and hear the waves and marvel at the stars from my bed and share a sunrise with my husband taken in from the summit of a volcano.  I want to stare into the soul of a flower and say, "Hello you:)" once in awhile, without a camera anywhere near me.  In fact... I am seriously considering painting a whole lot more with my words and a whole lot less with pixels this year. Four years I've been chasing this wind.  I think it's really time to lay it all down and bask in it. Let it move me, surround me, ruffle my hair, fill my lungs, caress my skin.

I've long sought to see with my heart through the lens of my camera.  I think this year, I'd like to see my life through the lens of my heart.